Alexa Dayn

Blog

Dare to Not Have a Dream

Come Again?

That seems counterintuitive, right? Daring to not have a dream?

People are always going on about living your dream, being courageous and bold and just going for it. “Dare to dream!” they say. I just googled that phrase and apparently it’s the title of a movie that came out recently.

And that’s all well and good, if you know what your dream is. But what if you have no idea?

It sounds kind of weird or underwhelming or something to not have a dream… right? People never seem to talk about not having a dream (that I’m aware of anyway).

Weird or not, I’m writing this because I don’t really know what my dream is. It’s been plaguing me for a while. I have a great life, a nice place to live, a healthy body, no significant financial concerns, no one to take care of other than my dog — in that sense, I have it all! I am so blessed, and I don’t have to worry about most of the things that typically hold people back from pursuing their dream. So, so blessed.

Here I am with this great life, a blank canvas… and I don’t know what to do with it!

I don’t know what my dream is.

Wtf, right?

All the people with dreams seem to have a bunch of kids or not enough money or whatever combination of circumstances, and then here I am with none of that to worry about, but no dream either!

It’s a little ironic. And I used to feel so guilty about it. Like I’m wasting my blank canvas, or not being a good human or productive member of society or whatever.

But the thing is… it’s okay.

It’s Actually Okay

I’m finally realizing it’s okay to not know what my dream is yet.

I think sometimes there’s a process to discovering your dream. Not always — some people are just born knowing that they want to be a doctor, or an airline pilot, or help save endangered animals — and that’s great! That just hasn’t been my experience.

Since I started waking up I’ve been going through a really deep process of self-discovery, and I’ve come across so many ideas and concepts during that time. I’m kind of collecting these as little nuggets that I feel will eventually form something awesome. My main “purpose” or contribution in this life.

Some of these nuggets seem obviously related to each other, like yoga and Ayurveda and other forms of natural healing, but a lot of them appear to be total outliers. Human archetypes, Q, beatboxing, different astrological systems — I’m not really sure where any of that stuff fits in.

But I’m not questioning it anymore.

I think the fact that I don’t quite have a dream yet is, for whatever reason, a necessary part of my path in this life.

It’s part of my process, or my “hero’s journey” as they say.

As I continue to feel better I feel about that, just letting go and embracing this journey… my purpose will come. I know it will. It can’t not; it’s why I incarnated.

Learning to Fly

Not to mention, hoping for my purpose to immediately appear as a result of some kind of grand epiphany or angelic influence would kind of negate the sacred, necessary process — not to mention the dream itself.

That makes me think of this really great line from a Foo Fighters song about learning to fly and thrive:

We live happily ever trapped if you just save my life, so run and tell the angels that everything’s alright.

In other words, if our dream is just handed to us via some kind of divine epiphany without going through the process of discovery, then ultimately we’ll still stay trapped or stuck (in some cases). We won’t have developed enough strength, perseverance, knowledge, experience, or fill-in-the-blank in order for our dream to sustain.

Not to mention, before we climb the metaphorical ladder to discovering and achieving our dreams, we want to make sure it’s leaned up against the right building, right?

So instead of blindly hoping for our purpose to manifest immediately, we tell the angels that we’re good, everything’s alright, we’ve got this. We’re learning to fly. We can do it.

Yes, it can be a struggle at times.

The struggle is real. But sometimes it’s necessary.

No mud, no lotus.

So all is well.

I don’t have a dream, and it’s cool.

In the meantime I continue on my process of discovery, learning new things, holding the light, and doing my best to spread positivity wherever I go. Which in my book constitutes being a pretty damn good human.

So here’s to daring to not have a dream! 🥂

(Yet.)