We can’t do it all.

We can’t learn it all.

We can’t travel to every single place in the world that we want to see…

But it’s okay… right?

Or is it?

Maybe it’s disempowering to say that we can’t do whatever we set our mind to. That’s fair. And in 5D and beyond, unbound by time and space and money, who’s to say that we can’t do every single thing and learn about every single topic and visit every square inch of this beautiful planet?

I think that will be our reality at some point, whether in this life or another — but until then we have to work within certain constraints. Like having enough hours in the day to do everything we want to do.

I also think that how we handle the illusion of these constraints plays a big part in how we “level up” to the next quantum state of existence (4th density/5th dimension).

This has been up for me lately.

1,432 Items

The sheer amount of things that I want to do and learn about kind of makes my brain hurt.

But as overwhelming as it is, I feel like there’s a lesson in it too. Because part of me knows that I don’t fail at life if I leave a few things off… but the other part of me that wants to cross every one of the literally hundreds of items off my list app has been a lot louder lately.

I’m not exaggerating that number, by the way! In fact, I just checked to make sure, and as it turns out “hundreds” was actually a conservative estimate; the reality is actually 1,432 unchecked items as of right now, August 13th, 2021.

Crazy, right?

Every one of those items are sorted into categories and folders and subfolders and sub-subfolders, with tags and notes and attachments and due dates and priority levels, in a legitimate but failed attempt to make it less overwhelming and insane.

But the fact is, I probably won’t ever check off every item in this incarnation.

(Although it’s also likely that shifting into a new density of consciousness will change the parameters in a way that renders the conditions of time and space more favorable for completion of said items — but once we’re all living in 5D, will I even care about checking items off my list app? Will there even be native Mac applications anymore? Will there be internet in the way that we’re used to? 🤷🏻‍♀️)

That train of thought brings to light a good question to think about now, in 3D: Why?

Why do I have 1,432 remaining items on my list? And why do I care so damn much?

The Why

I think there’s probably a psychological explanation for it, as well as an archetypal, energetic, and Human Design based explanation… but regardless of the lens through which I attempt to justify it, I think the lesson remains the same:

Somehow, at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter.

Because where are the thousands of items on my to do list coming from? Why do I actually want to do all of this stuff?

For context, I think I’ll list a few of the main categories here:

1. Unpacking and home improvement (since I moved recently)
2. Creating (writing and designing mainly)
3. Learning

Number 3 is extra overwhelming because I have this intense, innate desire to learn everything there is to know, especially about certain esoteric topics. I feel like there’s a way to reconcile all of these seemingly disparate lineages of knowledge, like Kabbalah and Vedanta and Daoism and Rosicrucianism, not to mention the teachings of all the spiritual teachers you see these days (who possess varying degrees of authenticity). I just have this burning desire to learn it all, so I can unite and reconcile it all. (But that’s probably a topic for another day.)

It’s made me wonder where this innate desire to do and learn comes from in the first place. Because I think it can stem from genuinely wanting to gain more knowledge and being joyfully/magnetically drawn to do so, but I also think it can come from a more ego-based desire to accomplish X, Y, and Z so I can check that stuff off the list and be able to say that I did it.

Just listing those two primary reasons seems to bring up another, perhaps more accurate/relevant lesson.

The point isn’t necessarily to do every single thing; the point is to do the things we do from a place of joy and excitement, rather than a place of desperation and ego.

It reminds me of David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness, where he discovered that endeavors coming from a place of lower vibrational states like guilt or fear are statistically less successful than the ones that come out of higher vibrational states like peace or compassion.

So we may not accomplish every single thing in this lifetime, but we’ll live happy and full lives that are in alignment with our dharma and life path. And isn’t that the point?

Because if I really analyze why I’m so stressed about the 1,432 remaining items on my to-do list, I think it’s because on some subconscious level I feel like doing every one of those things will make me feel validated and worthy and able to tell people that I did this, this, and that. You know?

Time hop

So I just came back to this article a couple months later after leaving it unfinished (as yet another item on my list app to complete 😂), and I’ve had some pretty cool mental and energetic shifts.

I still have the same amount of items on my to-do list, if not more. But the thing is… I’m not stressed about it anymore. It’s pretty cool.

Instead of my list app bringing me undue amounts of stress, now I’m kind of amused by it.

Now the inner dialogue goes more like “holy shit, look at all these awesome things that I want to do! So many avenues and opportunities! I’ll never ever be bored for as long as I live.” As opposed to “look at allllllll these things that I still have yet to do — how have I accomplished so little?”

See what I mean?

At the beginning of this post a couple months ago, I was debating whether or not I should accept the fact that I probably won’t finish everything on my list. But now, I realized that that isn’t even the problem. Actually, there is no problem!

I think that’s why I was so stressed about all the unfinished items. Because I was approaching them from a place of lack and inadequacy, instead of awesomeness and excitement and entertainment.

Whether I end up crossing off every item or not, what ultimately matters is that I do it out of joy, not fear.

Out of following my dharma, rather than getting lost in convoluted human emotions and stories and justifications.

Out of living in 5D, not 3D.

That’s the lesson.

(I think.)

I’ll let you know if I have any updates on that front.

But for now…

I’m off to go live my dharma!