“I was feeling epic…”
Except I wasn’t
By standard definition at least

I haven’t been
But I want to be
I want to be epic
Do epic shit
Be a part of something amazing

Why haven’t I
What’s stopping me
I know it’s up to me…

I’m here to do something epic
I just know it
I can feel it
It happens in my future
Time’s not linear
So I already feel it
Since it’s already “happened”
But until the “future”…

Lack of tangible epicness is making my heart hurt
Like there’s a dissonance between present and future
Between empty and epic
Such a stark contrast
It’s hurting my heart
Because I feel it, but I also don’t
Kind of like grief
Well, a small percentage of grief
But that same kind of feeling
The same flavor
The same hole in my chest
The same hurt in my heart

EPIC
That word!
I can’t even explain the pull I feel to this word
And all that it implies

I’m going to do something epic one day
All this epic shit
And someone will say something to me about it
And I’ll smile and shrug a little and say,
“I was feeling epic!”

Maybe then I’ll remember this day
Stopping in the middle of yoga to write
Because my heart hurt from lack of epicness

But it’s usually stories with a crazy disparity between beginning and end
Between loneliness and connection
Between dark and light
Between apparent lack of epicness and an abundantly epic existence
That are the most...
Well, epic.